Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Living on a prayer


So as many of you know Beverly and I have been really praying hard over our trip to school and the financial aspect of it all. It was a crazy amount of money that we had to raise in what felt like such a short amount of time. We just didn't have $20,000 laying around and we surly could not save that much up. We had to rely totally on God to provide. From my last entry you could all tell that I was really struggling with letting go and letting God. I tried to hold on to it for so long, thinking that I could handle it all on my own (I know I sound like a broken record) but I could not get through this thick skull of mine that all I needed to do is trust in Him. He lead me to this school, He has opened every door. Why wouldn't He be faithful with this? You see this lesson I have learned is when you do things liking agreeing to go to Europe without knowing anything, like where, when, how long, these are moments that God really shines through and you have no where else to go but to trust solely on Him. In those moments He is going to shine so bright.

This lesson was very hard for me to learn. I just could not learn. Then finally about 2 weeks ago I couldn't hold on anymore. God and I had a talk and I laid everything on Him just as He wanted me to do from the very beginning. After that I have had such a peace about everything. So about a week ago Beverly and I decided we would go ahead and pay for what we could, which was the first 6 weeks of school. So Sunday while at church pre-selling our shirts I started paying for our school. Now at this point we are about $13,000 short and our missions pastor came to us and said someone donated $500. That's awesome and I was in shock! That was so amazing! It kept getting better, between different donations, the yard sale, and our t-shirt sale we went from needing $13,000 to needing $2,500.

Again I say I learned such a valuable lesson here, that I hope I never forget. That once God tells you something He will follow through. He is not like me, who could back out at any second, or when things get hard. He will provide every step of the way. So my hope is that you see the beauty in all of this. That when you stop thinking that you can handle this world on your own and give everything over to God, He will out do whatever you thought was the best. He will show you beauty in every little step. I now look back on this journey and see the beauty of all the so called failures and frustrations and see that He was just trying to show me that I truly need Him.

- Hannah

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