Long time ago there lived a girl named Hannah. She was born and raised in a Christian home, but when she hit middle school her life began to change. She started testing her parents and was really not to fond on going to church. Once she hit high school she made a bigger turn from God and all that her parents had taught her. She started partying and really got lost in that world. At 18 she started hanging out with a couple we will call them Jack and Jill. On Jack's graduation night we had a little party at Jill's families house. After a few drinks Jack cornered Hannah and tried to kiss her but she pushed him off and told him that he was dating her best friend. Hannah went on throughout the night really not giving any thought to what had happened. The next morning she woke up to something that was not right, Jack was laying on her left and Jill was laying to her right and his hand was somewhere it should not be. Hannah immediately stopped it and got up. Her mind was racing! She could not believe what just happened and she was going on a trip with them that day. Oh she was scared, she didn't know what to do. She ,stupidly, went on the trip. It was one of the most difficult trips she had faced in her life. Once she returned home she pulled Emily to the side and told everything that had happened. Emily told Hannah what she needed to do. Hannah had to face Jill and tell her what happened. Lets just this, that weekend was one of the hardest weekends, full of everything she was afraid of.
A year later Hannah was deeper into the partying lifestyle. She ended up meeting a guy named Richard. At first Richard was a real awesome guy. She took him to meet her parents a few months and they approved, but little did they know things were about to get really dark. A while into the relationship Richard started showing his real colors. He was very controlling, very lost, and emotionally abusive to her. Hannah stayed in the relationship because she thought that if she stayed here she would at least always have someone, no matter how unhappy she was. As the year went on she moved in with Richard and things just got worse. She lost the majority of her friends and did not talk to her family. This was unlike her because no matter how much she disobeyed or fought with her family she was very much a family oriented person. Things got so bad that she called her real dad Beau and asked if she could move up there with him. He was more than willing.
So she moved up there while still dating Richard. After sometime up there she decided she was more than willing to be single and so she thought at the time she was done with Richard so she broke up with him. Hannah had been with Richard almost 2 years when they broke up and she was so use to talking to him daily that not very long after she started contacting him again. She ended up moving in with an awesome friend Trisha. Richard started coming up every once and a while to visit and when Hannah came home to visit family she would secretly go and visit him. One night after partying they went back to his place and the worst thing happened. It was like she was living a nightmare and it was on replay but this time it went further. The next morning she left and never talked to Richard again and buried it deep down along with the other incident.
About a year or so later Hannah woke up from a night of partying thinking this is not the life she wanted to live. This was not the life God had for her. God started working in her life. She became a Christian moved back home and started working for a great family. One day while she was talking to her sister Anne and she was calling her for being bitter about some things. Hannah knew Anne was right and she had to deal with it. While she was dealing with that she started thinking if she was bitter about that what else was she bitter about. Motorcycle rides where always something very relaxing for her but this time her mind was a going. She kept repeating the same question over in prayer " Show me what else I am bitter about Lord". He was quick with it and she road through the city where the first incident happened and it brought everything to the surface. She knew what she had to do. She pretty much shut herself up in her room and prayed in and out every day. Many tears fell and many questions where asked with many still remaining unanswered. Then one day this peace just washed over her. She had/has peace on the unanswered questions, she understands that we all have stories and that this is hers.
Living through all of this I have come to know that God's love and grace is something that covers every inch of our lives we just let Him in. It is something so hard but day by day I grow. His grace is so beautiful. Many days my past is thrown up in my face and I am reminded that I am still here so He is not finished with me. Many days I am so glad that He is not. He has blessed me so much. I am able to nanny for some of the most beautiful children, I have been able to had my parents my amazing little brother, I am here to watch him grow, and I have a story to tell. Romans 8: 37-39 " No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that us in Christ Jesus our Lord." My prayer is that anyone that has been in these situations that hasn't dealt with it, please do. It is something so frightening but there is something so freeing about it. Don't be afraid to deal with it. God has given you this story for a reason embrace it. It is something very dark but there is something to be said about a person who has been through it. You are strong, beautiful, and amazing! God has something so wonderful for you if you will just let Him in. If there is anyway I can help you deal with something like this please contact me at hbordeaux@ymail.com and I will do my best to help you, if its only just to listen. I am here.
-Hannah
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